Just found out that the name of my daughter Lanie was included in the list of those who passed the June 6 and 7 Nursing Board exam result.

Congratulation Mae Lanie L. Paulino – I am very proud of you.

The whole family was still awake when Mae Lynn my eldest daughter tried to search her sister’s name from the list of those successful examinees.

Her loud shriek called our attention when she found her sisters name included in the list.

Again, Congratulations!

An astrologer friend of my wife picked the date (July 10, 1984) after analyzing our full name and the dates of our birth. Thanks Manolo, after 25 years I realized your right. hahaha!

Evelyn, my wife doesn’t know how to cook at that time so I did all the cooking. One time while I was taking a bath I heard a loud explosion. I hurriedly went out to check what happened. She boiled a pot of water that dried up and resulted to an explosion sending the pot projecting skyward. It was a good thing nobody was hurt. Just one of many funny incidents we encountered that made our union exciting. We complement each other. I’m on the talkative side and she was the silent type at the start but now it’s the other way around.

The challenging part of our married life was the last quarter of the year 1988 while my wife was pregnant with Melvin. I was assigned as a Store Supervisor in Baclaran. Under a womanizing manager named Charlie.

Charlie’s wife was a very feisty lady that all the staff knew when they had a fight the night before because he would be wearing a long sleeve shirt to cover the fingernail scratches he received all over his body.
He would always ask me to do things for him. To the point of waiting for him in a bar with a woman he was wooing while he was trying to escape from his wife’s tight guarding ( ala Jaworski). He would leave home only clad in undershirt to avoid suspicion. He already prepares a formal wear waiting for pick up at our branch guardhouse. Got the picture?

I almost always arrived home late at night reeking alcohol that led her to suspect me of having an affair with another woman. Our fights became so frequent that made me think of doing it to justify her suspicion. She became the woman I never knew she would become.

We cant stop
The feelings to strong
Weve got the will to hang on
Cant stop
We struggle and fight to survive
Keepin the love alive

Christmas Party, December 31, 1988

I was in high spirit that morning because I have made a promise with my wife that I would go home early for us to be able to attend the midnight mass before eating our Media Noche. I informed my boss of my promise to my wife and to my two children, he gladly gave his consent.

But as Fate would have it, while in the middle of our Christmas Party, my boss was caught by his wife sitting on a lap of a saleslady in a compromising situation inside the office. We all knew what would happen later in their home. My boss would be fighting a losing battle but before he rushed home he assured me to wait for him before going home as I promised my wife. I had no option but to wait for him because our party was being held inside our store. I have lost count how many bottles of beer I was able to consume while waiting for the arrival of my boss.

I felt helpless and quite frustrated I could not contact my wife to explain my side and I knew she wouldn’t believe me. I am a man who always keep my promises but now I felt different under Charlie. So many promises I made were broken because of covering for him.

Was I dreaming?

Two big slaps on the face awaken me that brought me back to my senses. Seeing the face of my wife made me thinking I was home. I was trying to recall how I managed to come home when she immediately ran away. Seeing all the shoes around me made me realized I have slept in our store and my wife came for a visit and delivered those extra hot slaps on my face.
After a few minutes more Charlie arrived telling me how sorry he was and that I could go home and spend my day off.
I arrived home finding all my stuff inside two suitcases. Our door was closed, she won’t let me in and she wanted a separation. I was totally devastated because she won’t listen to my explanation.
This problem was resolved in a week’s time. This was a classic example of a problem that goes out of hand not on your own making but by circumstances beyond your control. We must not let our emotions overrule our mind in making decision. Give your partner the chance to speak up and have an open mind while listening.
Then February 28, 1989 I was promoted and was assigned to handle our Taytay branch. Another problem happened as I wrote here: When my Faith was tested

In all those family struggles of our life I never asked for helped from my in-laws and so did she. I had worked so hard for the financial needs of my family that you can name all businesses with earning potential, I have joined them.

I even became a manager of Tupperware direct selling business in a record time of 1 1/2 month after joining them. The picture at right shows my promotion to Baby Manager. Year 1999!?It was also in this stage that I believed I earned the respect of my in-laws. They are now encouraging my wife to work so that she could help me in raising our family.
Of course I objected because I promised myself that I would do everything for her. For keeping our love alive. For fighting for our love till death do us part as we said in our marriage vow.

She’s now a good cook who could whip up Chinese, Ilokano and Tagalog dishes. Her specialty was mami that tastes like you’re eating at a Chowking Restaurant.

Yes there were temptations in my line of work but my strong belief in the law of karma always reminded me to stay on the right path. “You reap what you sow”. I don’t want any member of my family suffering because of my past sin.

We just enjoy each others company and always do the thing we love to do such as cooking. Being open with each other helps a lot. We never fight over money. We try to solve every problem that comes our way in a more diplomatic way.

There were usual fights like ordinary couple but she never experience receiving physical harm from me. But I remember one time, In my anger I punched our kitchen door made of double plywood. It was so hard that it broke and so did my arm. I never repeated it again. Sakit ata nun!.?

We are now planning to build another room in the ground floor of our home in preparation for the time that we could not climb to our second floor room.?
Old age is fast approaching!

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My first provincial assignment that took me away from my family was in San Jose Occidental Mindoro. It will take you 12 hours of (night time) travel if you used Ro-Ro (roll on roll off) from port of Batangas. About 30 – 45 minutes if via plane that travels once a day (morning flight) from Manila Domestic Airport. Mindoro is an Island consisting of Occidental and Oriental. ,
Upon dis-embarking from the plane, I immediately tried to call home. My ever-reliable Nokia 606(remember Billcrusher card) failed to connect. I even stretch the antenna to its full potential, failed to connect again. Then our company representative arrives and whisper to me, “Sir, wala hong cell site dito” (“Sir, there is no cell site here”). I am more amused than angry, “Ah! Ok “is my only reply.
Traveling from airport to branch riding a tricycle had me wondering how I can improve the sales. Almost all the school children going to school that we passed by were wearing slippers. Then, I must teach them how to wear shoes. “Great! Isn’t it?” That’s the spirit.
During my first few nights I could not sleep and felt lonely and tears would slowly fall from my eyes. The first month seems to be too long. I thought of resigning to be with my family. But thru constant prayers and some landline call to my love one somehow eases the pain of being separated with my family.
The work:
One personnel had an undesirable habit that everybody despises about. Nonoy is his name. He would not owe to any mistake that he committed even somebody saw him. He has master the art of reasoning so much so that he can lie while looking at your eyes. Practically everybody hated him.
I almost give up on this one. I believe that I have the talent of making personnel under me to change for the better and became productive. I am good at personnel handling. But this one is different. A simple misunderstanding will become a big conflict. One time he challenges Raul (his co-stocker) for a fight due to a minor incident. A lot of “Notice to Explain” had been given.I started to observe and see his more human side. I tried as much as possible to understand him. To cut the story short, after a few more months, the transformation is so great that everybody though it is just for show. But it is real. The moral of the story is every one of us has a soft spot that needed only to be touched. I reach out to him and he reciprocated positively.
Then one by one I started to know our personnel better. They became (as if) my long lost relatives. They open their homes to me. Their relatives also became my relatives. What you really give to your personnel is what you reap. When I am sick, somebody would bring me food; medicine and from time to time they would check my condition.
My Family:
Then December came and my family became whole again even for that Christmas break. Every morning we would walk a few steps from my rented home to reach the shoreline. Seawater is so clear you can see some small fishes swimming. Sand is so fine. Bringing coffee and bread, we would eat our breakfast while swimming. My wife could cook fresh seafood on a very cheap price.
One time she tried to cook a live crab but made the mistake of removing those strings that bound their claw/chelas. She panicked when the crab, feeling the heat from the stove scampered on different direction and were able to jump out of wok. I, and the children were shouting and jumping and didn’t know what to do. Luckily for us one of our neighbors heard our shouting and expertly showed us how it is being handled.
My family enjoyed so much their short vacation that they eagerly anticipated the coming summer break. Again, we were together during the school break of 1999.
There were many happy moments that reminded me and my family of the place called – “San Jose”. In my heart there is a special place for these memories. “Tocino”, “longganisa”, “sisig”, “kalderetang kambing” and the rice – all seems special there. Maybe this is the place when they coined the word” Special place for special people.”
Thank You:
And when the time had come that I must say goodbye, I didn’t tell them the exact time of my leaving. But they caught me by surprised when on my last day; they presented me with a huge cross-stitch painting. Then one by one, they started talking with tears falling from their eyes. Telling me how I have touched their lives. I must have cried a river too because before I knew it, my handkerchief is so wet with tears I have to use my T-shirt to wipe away some tears. The next day, my eyes were swollen.

part of missing file. Posted 2007

(Some files still missing)

FATHER’S DAY @ FATHERLYOURS

I received a lot of text messages this morning and the earliest one came at 5:56 A.M., greeting me a “Happy Father’s Day.

It reminds me about the last two years that my family had been eating out during this occasion.

First time we dined out at Max Restaurant and we went home with free mug. It is still my mug for drinking coffee after dinner. Thanks God it survives the hands of my daughter Ariane from breaking every time she washes the dishes.

The second time we dined out was at Silver Crown Restaurant. One restaurant here that is famous for their Chinese recipe at very affordable prices.

My children had been giving me a lot of side remarks these past few days for a dinner date.

Sorry kids, no budget this time. Maybe somebody will treat us today with your favorite pizza.

I just realized that Father’s Day celebrations around the world were celebrated with different dates. We followed our celebration from other Asian Countries and the USA (3rd Sunday of June) and that it was commercialized in the year 1930 in New York.

The Associated Men’s Wear Retailers formed a National Father’s Day Committee in New York City in the 1930s, which was renamed in 1938 to National Council for the Promotion of Father’s Day and incorporated several other trade groups.^[6] This council had the goals of legitimizing the holiday in the mind of the people and managing the holiday as a commercial event in a more systematic way, in order to boost the sales during the holiday.^[6] This council always had the support of Dodd, who had no problem with the commercialization of the holiday and endorsed several promotions to increase the amount of gifts.^[7] In this aspect she can be considered the opposite of Anna Jarvis, who actively opposed all commercialization of Mother’s Day.^[7]

The merchants recognized the tendency to parody and satirize the holiday, and used it to their benefit by mocking the holiday on the same advertisements where they promoted the gifts for fathers.^[8] People felt compelled to buy gifts even though they saw through the commercial façade, and the custom of giving gifts on that day became progressively more accepted.^[8] By 1937 the Father’s Day Council calculated that only one father in six had received a present on that day.^[8] However, by the 1980s, the Council proclaimed that they had achieved their goal: the one-day event had become a three-week commercial event, a “second Christmas“.^[8] Its executive director explained back in 1949 that, without the coordinated efforts of the Council and of the groups supporting it, the holiday would have disappeared.^[8]

Source : Wikipedia

So friends, Ladies and gentleman, lapis and fountain pen- Happy Father’s Day to every Father out there.

For Dad like me, let us spend some precious time with our family.  This is our day (off).

Sa mga Makikisig na Ama na may isang kinatatakutan “Happy Father’s day”

Mag saya tayo, walang kokontra.

One text message I received.

One of my family’s favorite dish is Bicol express. Every time I have the chance they would request me to cook it for them. This is one recipe that I had learned from my constant travel to Calabarzon the last 5 years due to my work.

The above photo was taken by my Ericson cellphone camera. Napaanghang lang!

Bicol Express Recipe

Estimated preparation time: 30 minutes

Estimated cooking time: 30 minutes

Bicol Express Ingredients:

• 1/4 kilo pork, thinly sliced
• 1 cup Baguio beans or string beans
• 3 cups long chili or siling labuyo
• 1 onion, minced
• 1 head of garlic, minced
• 1 cup coconut milk
• 1 cup coconut cream
• 2 tablespoons of cooking oil
• 1/2 cup Salted anchovies

Bicol Express Cooking Instructions:

• In a cooking pan, heat cooking oil and brown sliced pork for a few minutes.
• In another pan, sauté minced garlic and onion.
• Add to the sauté the browned pork.
• Then add the coconut milk and salted anchovies, bring to a boil and simmer for 10 minutes.
• Add the chili peppers cook until dish gets a little dry.
• Add the coconut cream and simmer until the sauce thickens.
• add the string beans cover the pan and turn off the fire.

I turn off the fire after a few minutes of putting the string beans for it not be over cooked. Most Bicol dishes uses coconut milk and chili which was abundant in their area.

How about you guys, what is your families favorite dish?

When I was young:

I still remember the days when I would buy Parenting books before my first child was born. When I decided to take care of lovebirds, I would also buy books about lovebirds. It has been my way of learning. Books coupled with research and by asking other people’s personal experiences on matter that interest me.

I would buy cassette tapes of nursery rhyme and children stories, encyclopedia and other educational toys for them in preparation for their schooling. I would buy them toys that I myself never have the chance to play when I was a kid. I always wanted to buy for them what I think they would need later on. I decided for them. These last two sentences is my greatest mistake as I realize and I would tell you later.

Those were the Days:

When they were young, I have to spank them when I think it is necessary but I have to explain to them the reason why. When we have a visitor and they are not behaving well, one look at them and they know what I wanted them to do is to be quite. I am strict and disciplinarian as what my Chinese father showed us. I decided what I think is good for my family.

The Awakening:

One time when two of my daughters were already in high school my wife and me had a misunderstanding about decision-making. Right there, like a bubble bursting with anger she told me what she and our children felt. Yes I would ask for their opinion but I never listen to them. My ego was crushed like a castle being flattened after being hit by Intensity 7 quake. I was dumbfounded. But it opened up my mind to the realization that my children are not happy as I expected them to be. My parenting technique is an old fashioned traditional style “where father knows best”.

Now I know:

I think I have evolved and could call myself a thinking Daddy. I have adjusted my style of dealing with my children as I grow older and as they were too. I have learned a lot also from my wife and my kids. I am a disciplinarian but cool daddy as my children would tell me. I act now more as a friend than a daddy I used to be.

Parenting for me is like traveling in a two way street. We must listen and give way to other as much as we wanted to be given way. Like a pedestrian, you have to stop, look and listen before making your final move to cross the street.

As the saying goes “There is no such thing as right or wrong but thinking made it so”. If my style of parenting is good or bad, only time could tell. But for now I enjoy every minute of being a “Cool” daddy.

A disciplinarian but cool Daddy.

What’s your style of Parenting?

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Part of missing file

Running a family is like running a business. Do you agree? The similarity can be pointed out in different aspect:

Budget:
Companies have a monthly operational budget that must be monitored and be kept to the minimum level in order to make the business profitable. The sales or gross profit must be more than the expenses in order to sustain the operation of the company. If the situation is in reverse, employees must try to increase the sales more or reduced the expenses without sacrificing the quality of the product or the service.

Families budget may come from Parent’s (or other family member) fixed income that finances their monthly household expenses including incidental expenses such as school tuition, school uniforms, allowances etc. If the total income of the whole family is less than the actual total monthly expense they incurred (which is always the case), then the problem exist. It is either we reduced our monthly expenses to those essential only or try to find other sources of income. This is easier said than done. If not managed properly the result is negative income and people would result to using credit facilities.

If your budget allows you, it is recommended that R & R is also needed from time to time.

Teamwork:
A company’s manpower is its greatest asset. But in order for this people to move in a cohesive
Manner they need teamwork. Teamwork is the results of making the right people have the right attitude and focus in attaining the objective. They always use the word “we” instead of “I”.
The company through its HRD can hire and fire a person that does not fit in the organization.

Family member working a team needs deeper understanding and a lot of investment. It is not money that we invest but our time in nurturing and instilling in their young minds the real value of a family. The success and failure in this aspect can be determined by how each family member knew (from their heart) their individual roles and how they play it. As they say, Players win games and not coaches. Parents should treat their children with respect and dignity. No favoritism and must be fair to everyone. After all, what you sew- you reap.

You cannot choose your family and relative is an adage that is true. You can not just fire your family member because they are not ideal to your standard.

Discipline:
Companies have code of conducts as basis for the discipline within the organization. Without this, there would be kiosk and undisciplined personnel that would ruin whatever the company could gain.

Families should also have their own house rules for every member of the family to follow. As a general rule, leader should be a good follower to set as an example in both cases. It is the Boss, CEO, or the parents whose acts must be seen as the right example.

A company running smoothly is the result of all departments in the organization working in synergy. Same is true in a family that bonds together will surely weather all problems that comes their way.

This is my personal opinion and if you feel you want to share your ideas, please do so.
Please leave your comment.

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Posted 11/24/2008 Part of my missing file

Life comes just once so let’s make the most of it.
Yes, now we always see each other. When I arrived home from work and you would great me different kinds of greetings each night. – The feeling is great. I am happy with that. You see me not only as a Father but also as a friend.

Some of our neighbors envied me because you are all polite. Yours sentences is always punctuated by “po” and “opo”. Anyone of you would smile and greet them upon bumping or seeing them. You always stay home not like other children who are always in the street or in gimmicks.

You have all grown up and I have this feeling of pride and admiration for all of you because you are all responsible in your own ways. There are times that I got mad when you forgot to do what was asked of you. I see it as part of your growing up. You tend to focus more on your watching T.V., computer games, friendster and yahoo messenger than what is being told of you. I hate it when I had to declare”no computer” as punishment especially when you start blaming who is the culprit. There were bad time, miss understanding, conflicts like all ordinary family but those makes our bonding stronger.

Remember when you do you school project and I would insist on helping you out (It is because I didn’t do my school project when I am studying, now you know). Kuya Nilo always helps me.

We always laugh…

We are a happy family that it seems to me we are making fun of everything. Your Tita Nora always complains that when I arrive home the surroundings becomes noisy. It is because of you and not me.When you ask for your “baon” to be increase but I told you that I would ask my Boss first to give me a raise.

When you are late in going home from school and your mother always calls you on your cell phone. You would tell me each time, and then we would make fun of your mother.
When during dinner time and someone in you will be at the mercy of his/ her joke. We do it all together.

While viewing boxing matches in our T.V screen and all your eyes are on me because of my gestures as if I am in the ring. I really hate it but we laugh about it.

While viewing Jacky Chan movies because, anybody will say the next dialogue because we have memorized all the lines.

When your mother will insist in viewing an old FPJ (Fernando Poe JR.) movie and we will leave her. Not until she would protest of being left out, then we would all comebacks.

We have this uncanny sense of communication that by only looking at one another we could understand each other whether to start laughing or have to do something.When your mother would give instruction and will clarify, repeat it and pass to the nearest person until it gets back to her.

When you are with me in every provincial assignment (during Christmas and School break) and I would cook never heard recipe I just learned in that place.

In us, no occasion is needed in order to give the other a gift or something we think the other one needed (not wanted, remember!).Even without telling us that you have a problem, I always feel it and I would tell your mother about my intuition. We can feel each other worries and happiness.

When one by one, each three of you would loose your cell phone in different circumstances; I would shrug it off and told you that it is replaceable but not your life. Then you would tell me that your classmates say I am “Cool” for that attitude. You just didn’t know that I cried when I went upstairs! So you would not see the “pain” it cause in my wallet!

I really appreciate all those things that we have been doing. I enjoyed every minute that we are together.

Let us enjoy life and show one another the love and care that we have for each other and to the people around us.

God didn’t give us everything to enjoy life but HE gave us life to enjoy everything.

I Love You Guys…

posted 12/11/2008 Part of my missing file